Computer Mishaps
by UnaVitaSegreta
Summary: Emily, using her newly learned computer skills, decides to pull up a webpage ... yet she finds something unexpected instead. A laughable oneshot short story about Emily discovering the world wide web and all it has to offer.


Emily sat in Richard's study looking at the computer screen. The computer was turned on. That was good. Lorelai had never taught her how to actually turn it on or off. Now she just had to remember what that little icon looked like. It was a letter. Or a symbol. Something like that. Didn't it say 'Internet' on it? Yes, it seems like it did.

"There it is," she smiled, clicking on the Internet Explorer icon. Looking down at the piece of paper in front of her, she moved the mouse up to the bar thing at the top where she could type in her webpage. She started typing, entering the website that was written down. She didn't know what to do next, but it seemed like hitting the 'Enter' key was what Lorelai had done. It was. In fact, she had made a grand gesture of it, too.

Emily moved her hand back to the mouse. She scrolled it up to click on an icon and suddenly the screen changed. Her eyes widened at the sight before her. Then the noises started. She didn't know that there were speakers somewhere, but they were loud and caused her to shrink back into the chair. This was not what she was expecting to find on the DAR website. She had clearly clicked the wrong thing somehow.

She clicked on something but it didn't make the video stop. It didn't seem to be doing anything to make the video and the noises stop. As she scanned the screen for some way to turn it off she was suddenly caught by the images playing before her. Emily turned her head to the side, trying to figure out what the two people were doing to each other. Then she learned forward a bit. That couldn't be right. How could two people possibly manage to do that?

"Emily! Where are you?" Richard called out to her.

She looked up, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights. The noise coming from the computer was too much and the video would not stop playing. She had no clue how to make it stop.

Richard entered his study, confused about what was going on as he saw his wife sitting in front of the computer. He was even more confused by the sound that was coming from the speakers. It sounded like…

"Richard! I can't make it stop!" she moaned, giving into defeat. There was no way to get out of this one. It was too late.

Richard walked around the desk, his eyes widening at the images before him. He didn't know what to say.

"Do something!" she ordered. "It won't stop!" Her voice sounded panicked.

Richard chuckled. "Why Emily…"

"Richard!" she snapped. He laughed again. "This is not funny!"

"I'm sorry, dear. I'm sorry." He kept laughing as the couple continued to make their noises and do to each other whatever it was that they were doing. "I just … I never imagined I'd find my wife watching a dirty movie on my computer."

"I was not watching it, Richard!" He huffed as if he didn't believe her. "I can't believe you think I would watch this … this thing! I was trying to look up something about the DAR."

"You're telling me this young lady here," he motioned towards the monitor where the two young people were still going at it, "is a member of the DAR?"

"Most certainly not," she huffed. "I clicked on something and it started playing." She didn't like the way Richard was grinning at her. Rolling her eyes, she asked him again for help. "Please make it stop, Richard!"

"All right," he laughed, moving past her as she stood up to let him in front of the computer. "I'll just bookmark the page so that you can come back and finish watching it later." He sat down in the chair.

"Richard! This is not funny!" Emily sighed in relief when the noise finally stopped and the movie disappeared. "Thank you," she sighed, grateful that it was gone from the screen.

"Of course, my dear," Richard smiled, standing up. He followed his wife to the doorway, putting his arm across her shoulders.

"I'm not going to live this one down, am I?" she asked, her head hung low.

"Not for a while," Richard chuckled. He stepped back to allow her to walk through the doorway first.

"Did you see what they were doing? I didn't know it was possible for someone to bend like that!" Emily exclaimed. She still couldn't quite believe what she had seen.

"You're quite limber yourself, Emily." He winked at her as she rolled her eyes.

"You can't tell me you enjoy something like that … that production?"

"Enjoy is a strong word. I find it…" Emily glared at him. "Amusing, I suppose."

"You find two people engaged in lewd sexual activity amusing?"

"It was not lewd, Emily. It was the Kama Sutra."

Her eyes narrowed. "How do you know that?"

"It's a classic piece of literature. I have a copy of it on the shelf. I'm surprised you didn't study it at Smith." He laughed. "Well, all the poses in involve men. I guess you wouldn't need to study that at an all women's college."

"Richard!" He always teased her about going to a college full of women.

He grinned as they walked into the living room. "Just let me know next time you want to watch a dirty movie, Emily. I'll go to the store and buy you one. It will be much easier that way."

"Richard! This is not funny!"

"Of course not, dear."

Emily huffed.

* * *

Richard walked into his study, seeing his wife standing next to the bookshelf. "What are you reading?" he asked with a grin. He had already recognized the cover of the book. 

"Nothing." She flipped the book shut. It had been bad enough that he'd walked in just as she had accidentally opened the pornographic movie a few days ago. Yet how was she going to get out of looking through a copy of this book?

"Nothing?" He moved closer to her. "Could I see nothing?" he asked. Emily moved away, alluding him. "If it's nothing, then why don't you want me to see it?"

Emily sighed. There was no way of getting out of his one. "Fine." She held the book out.

Richard took it from her, looking back up at her with a smile. "Well, Emily…" She refused to look at him. "I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but …" She finally looked at him. "I like it."

She laughed ridiculously, looking away again. "You're incredible."

"What is incredible is that my wife was reading this book."

"I find it appalling that you keep that book on the shelf as if it's some prized possession."

"It is!" Emily looked at him with an incredulous expression. "This is a rare copy, Emily. It is at least three hundred years old."

"So you keep it for the historical value?" she asked, trying to hide her surprised smile.

Richard grinned, raising an eyebrow. "Among other reasons, yes."

"And what might those reasons be?" she asked, moving closer to him.

Richard liked the look in her eyes. It was one he hadn't seen in a while. "I don't know … Maybe I'm saving it for one of those nights when my wife mixes her alcohols and decides to get a bit more daring than usual…"

"You want to do … that … with me?" she asked, looking down at the book in his hand.

Richard knew that it was time to back off. "Of course not, Emily. I'm only teasing. You'd never behave like this." He put the book back on the shelf.

"Well, I wouldn't say never." Richard turned around slowly. Emily grinned, enjoying the shocked look on his face. "Why is that so unbelievable?" she asked. "The book may not be written in English, but it is illustrated. And I'm in shape. I could do a number of those … things. You're the one with bad knees and a bad back…"

"Are you serious, Emily?" he asked, not quite believing what was coming out of her mouth. This was not like his wife at all.

Emily only grinned, turning to walk out of the study.


End file.
